FYI: I don't always follow my own advice

Feb 3, 2022

The entire purpose of this website is to give feminist newbies encouragement, information, and ideas for having feminist conversations.

So the obvious question is... Do I, as the creator of this site, actually follow my own advice? The easy answer is: most of the time.

I've tried to be really intentional about applying my feminist learnings to the way I interact with the world.

Since a lot of my learning has happened within an academic context, it takes some time to figure out how to act on this knowledge. I can't just be going on long tangents all the time referencing articles, studies, and historical events that others have never heard of.

Instead, I change the way I talk to be more inclusive, respectful, and open-minded. When I hear someone say something offensive or hateful, I try to turn it into a learning opportunity for both of us. I tell my friends about a new queer Black musician I found, I plan events to be inclusive and accessible, or I try to give support to marginalized folks on social media platforms.

Basically, I try to put a feminist lens in front of everything I say and do. The more active this lens is in your mind, the easier it is to exist in a way that promotes feminist ideals.

But I don't always push a conversation...

There are many scenarios in which I don't feel comfortable or safe being vocally feminist. There are certain towns, certain family members, certain social dynamics that might dissuade me from calling someone out or encouraging a politically-charged conversation.

Please remember that it is always okay to adjust your approach to a situation based on what will protect your physical and emotional safety.

What I'm really trying to work on is the moments that don't threaten my safety, but just make me uncomfortable. This could be correcting a professor when they don't use someone's pronouns, or calling out some guy in a bar for using a slur.

It can sometimes be hard to speak up when you're worried about how others will respond. You probably have heard people refer to more outspoken feminists as a bitch, snowflake, feminazi, etc. So it's understandable that you wouldn't want those people to associate you with those words.

But if we want to practice transformative social justice on a bigger scale (like community initiatives or progressive policy), we need to start with daily interactions. We need to normalize these conversations, and actually spread feminist thought and concepts through our day-to-day lives.